I. RAYCHANDBHAI
I said in the last chapter that the sea was rough in
Bombay harbour, not an unusual thing in the Arabian Sea
in June and July. It had been choppy all the way from
Aden. Almost every passenger was sick; I alone was in
perfect form, staying on deck to see the stormy surge,
and enjoying the splash of the waves. At breakfast there
would be just one or two people besides myself, eating
their oatmeal porridge from plates carefully held in
their laps, lest the porridge itself find its place
there.
The outer storm was to me a symbol of the inner. But
even as the former left me unperturbed, I think I can say
the same thing about the latter. There was the trouble
with the caste that was to confront me. I have already
adverted to my helplessness in starting on my profession.
And then, as I was a reformer. I was taxing myself as to
how best to begin certain reforms. But there was even
more in store for me than I knew.
My elder brother had come to meet me at the dock. He
had already made the acquaintance of Dr. Mehta and his
elder brother and as Dr. Mehta insisted on putting me up
at his house, we went there. Thus the acquaintance begun
in England continued in India and ripened into a
permanent friendship between the two families.
I was pining to see my mother. I did not know that she
was no more in the flesh to receive me back into her
bosom. The sad news was now given me, and I underwent the
usual ablution. My brother had kept me ignorant of her
death, which took place whilst I was still in England. He
wanted to spare me the blow in a foreign land. The news,
however, was none the less a severe shock to me. But I
must not dwell upon it. My grief was even greater than
over my father's death. Most of my cherished hopes were
shattered. But I remember that I did not give myself up
to any wild expression of grief. I could even check the
tears, and took to life just as though nothing had
happened.
Dr. Mehta introduced me to several friends, one of
them being his brother Shri Revashankar Jagjivan, with
whom there grew up a lifelong friendship. But the
introduction that I need particularly take note of was
the one to the poet Raychand or Rajchandra, the
son-in-law of an elder brother of Dr. Mehta, and partner
of the firm of jewellers conducted in the name of
Revashankar Jagjivan. He was not above twenty-five then,
but my first meeting with him convinced me that he was a
man of great character and learning. He was also known as
Shatavadhani (one having the faculty of
remembering or attending to a hundred things
simultaneously), and Dr. Mehta recommended me to see some
of his memory feats. I exhausted my vocabulary of all the
European tongues I knew, and asked the poet to repeat the
words, He did so in the precise order in which I had
given them. I envied his gift without, however, coming
under its spell. The thing that did cast its spell over
me I came to know afterwards. This was his wide knowledge
of the scriptures, his spotless character, and his
burning passion for self-realization. I saw later that
this last was the only thing for which he lived. The
following lines of Muktanand were always on his lips and
engraved on the tablets of his heart:
'I shall think myself blessed only when I see Him in
every one of my daily acts; Verily He is the thread,
Which supports Muktanand's life.'
Raychandbhai's commercial transactions covered
hundreds of thousands. He was a connoisseur of pearls and
diamonds. No knotty business problem was too difficult
for him. But all these things were not the centre round
which his life revolved. That centre was the passion to
see God face to face. Amongst the things on his business
table there were invariably to be found some religious
book and his diary. The moment he finished his business
he opened the religious book or the diary. Much of his
published writings is a reproduction from this diary. The
man who, immediately on finishing his talk about weighty
business transaction, began to write about the hidden
things of the spirit could evidently not be a businessman
at all, but a real seeker after Truth. And I saw him thus
absorbed in godly pursuits in the midst of business, not
once or twice, but very often. I never saw him lose his
state of equipoise. There was no business or other
selfish tie that bound him to me, and yet I enjoyed the
closest association with him. I was but a briefless
barrister then, and yet whenever I saw him he would
engage me in conversation of a seriously religious
nature. Though I was then groping and could not be said
to have any serious interest in religious discussion,
Still I found his talk of absorbing interest. I have
since met many a religious leader or teacher. I have
tried to meet the heads of various faiths, and I must say
that no one else has ever made on me the impression that
Raychandbhai did. His words went straight home to me. His
intellect compelled as great a regard from me as his
moral earnestness, and deep down in me was the conviction
that he would never willingly lead me astray and would
always confide to me his innermost thoughts. In my
moments of spiritual crisis, therefore, he was my refuge.
And yet in spite of this regard for him I could not
enthrone him in my heart as my Guru. The throne has
remained vacant and my search still continues.
I believe in the Hindu theory of Guru and his
importance in spiritual realization. I think there is a
great deal of truth in the doctrine that true knowledge
is impossible without a Guru. An imperfect teacher may be
tolerable in mundane matters, but not in spiritual
matters. Only a perfect gnani deserves to be
enthroned as Guru. There must, therefore, be ceaseless
striving after perfection. For one gets the Guru that one
deserves. Infinite striving after perfection is one's
right. It is its own reward. The rest is in the hands of
God.
Thus, though I could not place Raychandbhai on the
throne of my heart as Guru, we shall see how he was, on
many occasions, my guide and helper. Three moderns have
left a deep impress on my life, and captivated me:
Raychandbhai by his living contact; Tolstoy by his book,
The Kingdom of God is Within You; and Ruskin by his Unto
this Last. But of these more in their proper place.
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