XXII. COMPARATIVE
STUDY OF RELIGIONS
If I found myself entirely absorbed in the service of
the community, the reason behind it was my desire for
self-realization. I had made the religion of service my
own, as I felt that God could be realized only through
service. And service for me was the service of India,
because it came to me without my seeking, because I had
an aptitude for it. I had gone to South Africa for
travel, for finding an escape from Kathiawas intrigues
and for gaining my own livelihood. But as I have said, I
found myself in search of God and striving for self-
realization.
Christian friends had whetted my appetite for
knowledge, which had become almost insatiable, and they
would not leave me in peace, even if I desired to be
indifferent. In Durban Mr. Spencer Walton, the head of
the South Africa General Mission, found me out. I became
almost a member of his family. At the back of this
acquaintance was of course my contact with Christians in
Pretoria. Mr. Walton had a manner all his own. I do not
recollect his ever having invited me to embrace
Christianity. But he placed his life as an open book
before me, and let me watch all his movements. Mrs.
Walton was a very gentle and talented woman. I liked the
attitude of this couple. We knew the fundamental
differences between us. Any amount of discussion could
not efface them. Yet even differences prove helpful,
where there are tolerance, charity and truth. I liked Mr.
and Mrs. Walton's humility, perseverance and devotion to
work, and we met very frequently.
This friendship kept alive my interest in religion. It
was impossible now to get the leisure that I used to have
in Pretoria for my religious studies. But what little
time I could spare I turned to good account. My religious
correspondence continued. Raychandbhai was guiding me.
Some friend sent me Narmadashanker's book Dharma
Vichar. Its preface proved very helpful. I had heard
about the Bohemian way in which the poet had lived, and a
description in the preface of the revolution effected in
his life by his religious studies captivated me. I came
to like the book, and read it from cover to cover with
attention. I read with interest Max Muller's book, India
What Can It Teach Us? and the translation of the Upanishads
published by the Theosophical Society. All this enhanced
my regard for Hinduism, and its beauties began other
religions. I read Washington Irving's Life of Mahomet
and His Successors and Carlyle's panegyric on the
prophet. These books raised Muhammad in my estimation. I
also read a book called The Sayings of Zarathustra.
Thus I gained more knowledge of the different
religions. The study stimulated my self-introspection and
fostered in me the habit of putting into practice
whatever appealed to me in my studies. Thus I began some
of the Yogic practices, as well as I could understand
them from a reading of the Hindu books. But I could not
get on very far, and decided to follow them with the help
of some expert when I returned to India. The desire has
never been fulfilled.
I made too an intensive study of Tolstoy's books. The
Gospels in Brief, What to Do? and other books made a
deep impression on me. I began to realize more and more
the infinite possibilities of universal love.
About the same time I came in contact with another
Christian family. At their suggestion I attended the
Wesleyan church every Sunday. For these days I also had
their standing invitation to dinner. The church did not
make a favourable impression on me. The sermons seemed to
be uninspiring. The congregation did not strike me as
being particularly religious. They were not an assembly
of devout souls; they appeared rather to be
worldly-minded people, going to church for recreation and
in conformity to custom. Here, at times, I would
involuntarily doze. I was ashamed, but some of my
neighbours, who were in no better case, lightened the
shame. I could not go on long like this, and soon gave up
attending the service.
My connection with the family I used to visit every
Sunday was abruptly broken. In fact it may be said that I
was warned to visit it no more. It happened thus. My
hostess was a good and simple woman, but somewhat
narrow-minded. We always discussed religious subjects. I
was then re-reading Arnold's Light of Asia. Once
we began to compare the life of Jesus with that of
Buddha. 'Look at Gautama's compassion!' said I. 'It was
not confined to mankind, it was extended to all living
beings. Does not one's heart overflow with love to think
of the lamb joyously perched on his shoulders? One fails
to notice this love for all living beings in the life of
Jesus.' The comparison pained the good lady. I could
understand her feelings. I cut the matter short, and we
went to the dining room. Her son, a cherub aged scarcely
five, was also with us. I am happiest when in the midst
of children, and this youngster and I had long been
friends. I spoke derisively of the piece of meat on his
plate and in high praise of the apple on mine. The
innocent boy was carried away and joined in my praise of
the fruit.
But the mother? she was dismayed.
I was warned. I checked myself and changed the
subject. The following week I visited the family as
usual, but not without trepidation. I did not see that I
should stop going there, I did not think it proper
either. But the good lady made my way easy.
'Mr. Gandhi,' she said, 'please don't take it ill if I
feel obliged to tell you that my boy is none the better
for your company. Every day he hesitates to eat meat and
asks for fruit, reminding me of your argument. This is
too much. If he gives up meat, he is bound to get weak,
if not ill. How could I bear it? Your discussion should
henceforth be only with us elders. They are sure to react
badly on children.'
'Mrs---,' I replied, 'I am sorry. I can understand
your feelings as a parent, for I too have children. We
can very easily end this unpleasant state of things. What
I eat and omit to eat is bound to have a greater effect
on the child than what I say. The best way, therefore, is
for me to stop these visits. That certainly need not
affect our friendship.'
'I thank you,' she said with evident relief.
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